The Art of Forgiveness

The Art of Forgiveness

A man awoke out of sound sleep one night, due to a recurring dream. The
dream was always the same. He was swimming in a lake, and although a good
swimmer, his arms and legs grew increasingly weary, and he feared he
might not make it back to shore. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, an
elderly man who looked identical to his deceased father passed by in a
rowboat. He stopped, held out his hand, but recalling how poorly his
father treated him as a child, he smiled dryly and said," No thank you,
Dad. I'll be ok."

The man continued to frantically splash his way back to shore. Looking to
the side, he saw yet another form in the distance. It was his daughter,
swimming quickly toward him with a life preserver. "Here, dad! Put this
on!" Remembering the many times his daughter disobeyed him as a rebellious
teen, the man shook his head and waved his daughter on.

Upon finally making it to shore, the man collapsed from exhaustion in the
wet sand. Conscious, yet unable to move, the man spied a large group of
people around him. All the people looked familiar - faces of the many
friends and relations he had come in contact with during his life. They
offered to take him to the hospital, to bring him some warm clothes, or
towel, but as each person spoke, the man recalled the many times that
person did him wrong. "No thank you," he said, "I will be fine." The man
stood up, brushed off his sandy, wet clothes, and walked wearily into the
sunset.

After the third night of dreaming this same dream, the man sought the
opinion of the only person he felt he could trust to not hurt him, his
wise, old grandmother.

"What does the dream mean, gram?" He asked. The wrinkled and wise-looking
woman sat in silence for several moments, and then finally spoke. "I'm
no dream-readin' expert, sonny, but I'd say that someone is trying to tell
you that you are holding in a lot of bitterness, due to an unforgiving
attitude."

The man pounded his fists on the table in indignation. "Bitter?
Unforgiving? That is absurd! I should have known better than come to an
uneducated woman like you!"

The old woman sat very still and calmly said, "There is more. I'm guessin'
that the struggle you encountered in the water is the same sort of
struggle that you often feel inside. You WANT to reach out and take hold
of a warm and caring hand, but no hand is good enough for you. You made it
to the shore THIS time, but what about next time?" Red-faced and
exasperated, the man stormed out of the room muttering to himself.

Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is something we do for
our SELF. Those who do not forgive others, who do not forgive easily, or
who forgive on a conditional basis, slowly build up bitterness inside
themselves.

Why?

Because when we hold in negative feelings, and do not work on finding
suitable resolutions, we carry all the hurts, anger, fear and
disappointments INSIDE our selves. Like the man in the story, we might
THINK we are "OK," even put on a good social front, but the reality of the
matter is, when we refuse to forgive and move on to a new day, the
negative baggage becomes so much a part of us, that it blurs our vision
and causes our perceptions of the world and those around us to be
distorted. An unforgiving attitude not only affects one emotionally, but
physically and spiritually.

As a new year (2001) is now upon us, let us use this time of resolutions
to think of what our own attitudes on forgiveness are. Will we carry old
grudges for yet another year? Or, will we allow forgiveness to be a
doorway through which all change can pass?

Perhaps the greatest example of the ultimate forgiveness was the Son of
God. Jesus Christ was guilty of no crime, nor wrong doing, yet he hung
nailed to a cross, for your sins and mine. How easily he could have cursed
those who persecuted him, even damned them to Hell, if he desired, yet,
putting all pride aside, he uttered these words,"Father, forgive them..."

In the Bible, we are told many times over that if we do not forgive
others, God will not forgive us. It is easy to say we forgive, but
forgiveness is an ACTION, not just a word. If we truly forgive, then old
grudges, bitterness, and resentments are washed away.

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your
Father will not forgive yours sins." -Matthew 6:14

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."-Luke 6:36

You may be pleased to know that after some time of solitude, the man in
the story went home to his wife, sat her down, and as he held her hands,
he promised her that from this day forth, each day would be a new day, and
the sun would not again go down on unresolved issues. This same sentiment
was carried over each time he saw a friend or relation.

By crying out to God to forgive this man of the wrongs he did in his own
life, he was then able to fully understand the beauty and purpose of his
forgiving others. If Christ forgives us, then we must also forgive
others.

From: precii@yahoo.com