Forward

This blog is simply a collection of all forwarded emails or articles that have touched me one way or another, that have made me reflect and move forward. I posted them in the hope that others who may read them will also learn from them :)

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Friday, November 11, 2005

Why The Filipino Is SPECIAL.

by Ed Lapiz

Filipinos are Brown. Their color is in the center of
human racial strains.

This point is not an attempt at racism, but just for
many Filipinos to realize that our color should not be
a source of or reason for inferiority complex. While
we pine for a fair complexion, the white people are
religiously tanning themselves, whenever they could,
under the sun or some artificial light, just to
approximate the Filipino complexion.

Filipinos are a touching people. We have lots of love
and are not afraid to show it. We almost inevitably
create human chains with our perennial akbay (putting
an arm around another shoulder), hawak (hold), yakap
(embrace), himas (caressing stroke), kalabit (touch
with the tip of the finger), kalong (sitting on
someone else's lap), etc.
We are always reaching out, always seeking
interconnection.

Filipinos are linguists. Put a Filipino in any city,
any town around the world. Give him a few months or
even weeks and he will speak the local language there.
Filipinos are adept at learning and speaking
languages. In fact, it is not uncommon for Filipinos
to speak at least three: his dialect, Filipino, and
English. Of course, a lot speak an added language, be
it Chinese, Spanish or, if he works abroad, the
language of his host country.

In addition, Tagalog is not 'sexist.' While many
"conscious" and "enlightened" people of today are just
by now striving to be "politically correct" with their
language and, in the process, bend to absurd depths in
coining "gender sensitive" words, Tagalog has, since
time immemorial, evolved gender-neutral words like
asawa (husband or wife), anak (son or daughter),
magulang (father or mother), kapatid (brother or
sister), biyanan (father-in-law or mother-in-law),
manugang (son or daughter-in-law), bayani, bayani
(hero or heroine), etc.

Our languages and dialects are advanced and, indeed,
sophisticated! It is no small wonder that Jose Rizal,
the quintessential Filipino, spoke some twenty-two
languages!
Filipinos are groupists. We love human interaction and
company. We always surround ourselves with people and
we hover over them, too. According to Dr. Patricia
Licuanan, a psychologist from Ateneo and Miriam
College, an average Filipino would have and know at
least 300 relatives.

At work, we live bayanihan (mutual help); at play, we
want a kalaro (playmate) more than laruan (toy).At
socials, our invitations are open and it is more
common even for guests to invite and bring in other
guests. In transit, we do not want to be separated
from our group. So what do we do when there is no more
space in a vehicle? Kalung-kalong! (Sit on one
another). No one would ever suggest splitting a group
and waiting for another vehicle with more space!

Filipinos are weavers. One look at our baskets, mats,
clothes, and other crafts will reveal the skill of the
Filipino weaver and his inclination to weaving. This
art is a metaphor of the Filipino trait. We are social
weavers. We weave theirs into ours that we all become
parts of one another. We place a lot of premium on
pakikisama (getting along) and pakikipagkapwa
(relating). Two of the worst labels, walang
pakikipagkapwa (inability to relate), will be avoided
by the Filipino at almost any cost.

We love to blend and harmonize with people, we like to
include them in our "tribe," in our family"-and we
like to be included in other people's families, too.

Therefore we call our friend's mother nanay or mommy;
we call a friend's sister ate (eldest sister), and so
on. We even call strangers Tia (aunt) or Tio (uncle),
Tatang (grandfather), etc.

So extensive is our social openness and interrelations
that we have specific title for extended relations
like bilas (brother-in-law's or
sister-in-law's spouse), balae (child -in-law's
parents), inaanak (godchild), ninong/ninang
(godparents), kinakapatid (godparent's child), etc.

In addition, we have the profound 'ka' institution,
loosely translated as "equal to the same kind" as in
kasama (of the same company), kaisa (of the same
cause), kapanalig (of the same belief), etc. ABS-CBN's
"kapamilya" and GMA 7's "kapuso" taglines resonate in
the consciousness of their viewers. In our social
fiber, we treat other people as co-equals.

Filipinos, because of their social "weaving"
traditions, make for excellent team workers.

Filipinos are adventurers. We have a tradition of
separation. Our myths and legends speak of heroes and
heroines who almost always get separated from their
families and loved ones and are taken by circumstances
to far-away lands where they find wealth or power.

Our Spanish colonial history is filled with
separations caused by the reduccion (hamleting), and
the forced migration to build towns, churches,
fortresses or galleons. American occupation enlarged
the space of Filipino wandering, including America,
and there are documented evidences of Filipino
presence in America as far back as 1587.

Now, Filipinos compose the world's largest population
of overseas workers, populating and sometimes
"threshing" major capitals, minor towns and even
remote villages around the world. Filipino adventurism
has made us today's citizens of the world, bringing
the bagoong (salty shrimp paste), pansit (sautÈed
noodles), siopao (meat-filled dough), kare-kare
(peanut-flavored dish), dinuguan (innards cooked in
pork blood), balut
(unhatched duck egg), and adobo (meat vinaigrette),
including the tabo (ladle) and tsinelas (slippers) all
over the world. (How about the tabo na plastic and
panghilud na bato?)

Filipinos are excellent at adjustments and
improvisation, managing to recreate their home, or to
feel at home anywhere.

Filipinos have Pakiramdam (deep feeling/discernment) .
We know how to feel what others feel, sometimes even
anticipate what they will feel. Being manhid (dense)
is one of the worst labels anyone could get and will
therefore, avoid at all cost. We know when a guest is
hungry though the insistence on being full is assured.

We can tell if people are lovers even if they are
miles apart. We know if a person is offended though he
may purposely smile. We know because we feel. In our
pakikipagkapwa(relating), we get not only to wear
another man's shoe but also his heart.

We have a superbly developed and honored gift of
discernment, making us excellent leaders, counselors,
and go-betweens.

Filipinos are very spiritual. We are transcendent. We
transcend the physical world, see the unseen and hear
the unheard. We have a deep sense of kaba^
(premonition) and kutob (hunch). A Filipino wife will
instinctively feel her husband or child is going
astray, whether or not telltale signs present
themselves.

Filipino spirituality makes him invoke divine presence
or intervention at nearly every bend of his journey .
Rightly or wrongly, Filipinos are
almost always acknowledging, invoking or driving away
spirits into and from their lives. Seemingly trivial
or even incoherent events can take on
spiritual significance and will be given such space or
consideration.

The Filipino has a sophisticated, developed
pakiramdam. The Filipino, though becoming more and
more modern (hence, materialistic) is still very
spiritual in essence. This inherent and deep
spirituality makes the Filipino, once correctly
Christianized, a major exponent of the faith.

Filipinos are timeless. Despite the nearly
half-a-millennium encroachment of the western clock
into our lives, Filipinos - unless on very formal or
official functions - still measure time not with hours
and minutes but with feeling. This style is ingrained
deep in our psyche. Our time is diffused, not framed.
Our appointments are refined by umaga (morning),
tanghali (noon ), hapon afternoon), or gabi (evening).

Our most exact time reference is probably
katanghaliang-tapat (high noon), which still allows
many minutes of leeway. That is how Filipino trysts
and occasions are timed: there is really no definite
time.

A Filipino event has no clear-cut beginning nor
ending. We have a fiesta , but there is bisperas
(eve), a day after the fiesta is still considered a
good time to visit. The Filipino Christmas is not
confined to December 25th; it somehow begins months
before December and extends up to the first days of
January.

Filipino's say good-bye to guests first at the head of
the stairs, then down to the descamo (landing), to the
entresuelo (mezzanine), to the pintuan (doorway), to
the tarangkahan (gate), and if the departing persons
are to take public transportation, up to the bus stop
or bus station.

In a way, other people's tardiness and extended stays
can really be annoying, but this peculiarity is the
same charm of Filipinos who, being governed by
timelessness, can show how to find more time to be
nice, kind, and accommodating than his prompt and
exact brothers elsewhere.

Filipinos are spaceless. As in the concept of time,
the Filipino concept of space is not numerical. We
will not usually express expanse of space with miles
or kilometers but with feelings in how we say malayo
(far) or malapit (near).

Alongside with numberlessness, Filipino space is also
boundless. Indigenous culture did not divide land into
private lots but kept it open for all to partake of
its abundance. The Filipino has avidly remained
"spaceless" in many ways.

The interior of the bahay-kubo (hut) can easily become
receiving room, sleeping room, kitchen, dining room,
chapel, wake parlor, etc. Depending on the time of the
day or the needs of the moment. The same is true withthe bahay na bato
(stone
house). Space just flows into
the next space that the divisions between the sala,
caida, comedor, or vilada may only be faintly
suggested by overhead arches of filigree.

In much the same way, Filipino concept of space can be
so diffused that one 's party may creep into and
actually expropriate the street! A family business
like a sari-sari store or talyer may extend to the
sidewalk and street. Provincial folks dry palayan
(rice grain) on the highways! Religious groups of
various persuasions habitually and matter-of-factly
commandeer the streets for processions and parades.

It is not uncommon to close a street to accommodate
private functions, Filipinos eat. sleep, chat,
socialize, quarrel, even urinate, nearly everywhere or
just anywhere!

"Spacelessness," in the face of modern, especially
urban life, can be unlawful and may really be
counter-productive. On the other hand, Filipino
spacelessness, when viewed from his context, is just
another manifestation of his spiritually and communal
values. Adapted well to today's context, which may
mean unstoppable urbanization, Filipino spacelessness
may even be the answer and counter balance to
humanity's greed, selfishness and
isolation.

So what makes the Filipino special? We are brown,
spiritual, timeless, spaceless, linguists, groupists,
weavers, adventurers. Seldom do all these profound
qualities find personification in a people. Filipinos
should allow - and should be allowed to contribute
their special traits to the
world-wide community of men- but first, we should know
and like ourselves.

====================
From: hazelvee@yahoo.com.au

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Valentines Day story

A few years back...I was so excited to meet that special someone who
will make my life complete.
I thought I had it all na kasi except for that someone who will make
me forget about my fears and heartaches.
Many times...I thought nakilala ko na siya...but many times I realized
that hindi pala siya.
I don't know kung hindi talaga siya para sa akin or ako lang yung may
problema...dahil i just can't get contented with what I have.
Masaya lang kasi sa una...then after that, sunod sunod na ang away,
kung wala namang away, wala namang thrill.
And I end up getting tired of hoping that tomorrow will make up for
today...Finally, I decided that maybe its better to try my luck
elsewhere, maybe, someone else's love will make me feel complete.
Every woman wants a man who will make her feel special...and treat her
like she's everything in his life...
He's always busy...he doesn't have time for me.
He promised to take me out for dinner and movie and then biglang
tatawag "B, sorry I can't take you out today, my boss asked me to work
tonight, may hinahabol kasing deadline. Nakakahiya naman pag hindi ko
pagbibigyan. Hayaan mo I'll make it up to you next time."
And it happens all the time.
I often end up spending the day crying in my room.
"Bakit gan'un, he doesn't care about me...I was looking forward to see
him today. Hindi ba niya ako namimiss?" Kaya heto ako...I've made up
my mind na...I'll give him what he wants...he probably won't miss me
anyway.
I'm always last sa lahat ng priorities niya.
Im not important to him at all.
If he can't treat me right, somebody else will! Mahimbing ang tulog
niya...when he came home.
D man lng niya ako napansin.
He gave me a kiss sa cheek and ginulo ang buhok ko...after that
dumeretso nasa kuarto at natulog.
I won't wake him up anymore...susulat na lng ako...at parang isang
panaginip...pagising niya wala na ako.

Dear Jake,

While you're reading this letter, wala na ako...you probably won't see me again.
I won't tell you the details anymore coz alam mo na yun.
but i guess you deserve to know why...Lately, I realized that this is
not the kind of life that I want for myself..you know that I've been
lonely most of my life and I want to share my life with someone who
won't take me for granted, who will make me happy every second of my
life.
Forgive me but I guess, hanggang dito na lng tayo.
I just want you to know that I love you and I want you to be happy too.

Maan

With tears in my eyes, I left the letter beside him para makita niya
paggising niya.
And then I looked at him.
Ang guapo guapo niya...napangiti ako...naaalala ko nung una ko siyang makilala.
I met this guy sa school nung college.
Ang daming nagkakagusto sa kanya but I don't know what he saw in me at
ako ang niligawan niya kahit inaaway ko siya.
I was scared of him before, para kasing playboy ang mukha...I was
broken hearted at that time and getting hurt again was the last thing
I wanted.
But then he was persistent and he was really nice to me.
At first, our relationship was extraordinary.
wala akong masabi.
Nobody has ever treated me like that...kaya lang as time went by...we
both got busy and despite the fact that we both lived under one roof,
we seldom spent time with each other.
He buys me anything I want but I dont really need anything...I just need him.
But i guess, he changed a lot since the first time we were together,
siguro he fell out of love and he just can't tell me...Ba't kasi
kailangan pang magbago ang lahat....kaya heto na naman ako, muling mag
iisa.I didn't realize, I was staring at him for 3 hours.
Gumalaw siya and something fell off his hand---ballpen?! and then I
saw a piece of paper sa tabi niya..
I was curious kaya binasa ko and it goes like this...

Dear Maan,

For all the times that I have disappointed you, I'm really sorry.
I know I've been out of your sight often and that I always make you feel bad.
Im really sorry.
I want you to know that even though wala ako sa tabi mo...I'm always
thinking about you.
You are the reason why I work hard.
I want to give you everything in life because you deserve everything
and I want you to be happy.
Kaya forgive me kung hindi tayo natuloy last week.
I had to work double time para matuloy tayo ngayon.
I know that you've always wanted to go south sa beach.
I can't afford a house by the beach right now but I hope that I've
made you happy today.
I love you baby.
I love you more than you'll ever know.
Happy Valentines Day!

With lots of love,

Jake

What if hindi ko nakita ang letter na to? I could have committed the
greatest mistake of my life, letting go of someone who loves me the
way this man does.
I will never forgive myself for thinking that he was unfair, that he
doesn't care, that he doesn't love me.
I couldn't help myself but cry.
All the while, I was the one being unfair and selfish and I feel so
stupid for failing to see what this man is doing for me.
Valentines na pala next week.
I havent got anything for him yet...ahh alam ko na, from now on, hindi
na ako mangungulit.
I can wake up tomorrow and pretend that nothing happened tonight.
I placed his letter back under his pillow and I tore mine into pieces.
Tapos, niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit.
I love you, b.
I whispered.
He wrapped his arms around me at ginulo ang buhok ko (gulat ako) I
love you more he told me.
And he laughed.
He was watching me all the time?! O, tapos naba ang drama mo? Kanina
pa kita hinihintay.
And he turned off the lights. :)

Kaya babae, makontento ka, okay? You're in love with a human being and
not with superman!!!

Love is not a bed of roses and love is not a bed of nails.
It is a combination of sadness and happiness...

====================
From: maryfatima@lycos.com

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears tha t filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted
today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

====================
From: otilear@yahoo.com

Monday, November 07, 2005

Never apologize

To all the ladies in the house....

1. Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy. Even if you need
to quit your job, transfer schools, or move across country, always do
what you really want.

2. Never apologize for using proper English. Keeping it real doesn't
mean speaking Ebonics.

3. Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship that just
didn't work out.

4. Never apologize for being successful. Only haters want to keep you
at their level.

5. Never apologize for crying. Wear waterproof mascara and express yourself.

6. Never apologize for ten pounds you need to lose. People who truly
care about you will accept you as you are.

7. Never apologize for being frugal. Just because you save your money
instead of blowing it on the latest fashion emergency doesn't mean
you're cheap.

8. Don't apologize for being a single mom. Babies are a blessing.

9. Never apologize for treating yourself to something special.
Sometimes you have to show yourself some appreciation.

10. Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship. Your safety
should always be a priority.

11. Never apologize for keeping the ring even if wedding bells won't chime.

12. Never apologize for setting high standards in a relationship. You
know what you can tolerate and what simply gets on your nerves.

13. Never apologize for saying NO.

14. Never apologize for asking for what you want in bed. If you
don't, then who will?

15. Never apologize for wearing a weave. You bought it so it's yours.

16. Never apologize to your new friends about old friends. There's a
reason she's been your girl from day one.

17. Never apologize for ordering dessert. Or more than one dessert.

18. Never apologize for dating outside your race. Just because you
found Mr. Right across the color line doesn't mean you don't love
your brothas.

19 . Never apologize for not knowing how to cook. Even if you can't
burn like Grandma you know how to order good take out.

20. Never apologize for your taste in clothes. It's your style.

21 . Never apologize for changing your mind.

22 . Never apologize for exercising your right to choose. It's your
body and your right.

23. Never apologize for making more money than your man, you work
hard and you deserve to get paid.

24. Never apologize for being you! "KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD"

====================
From: shing.torremana@tdgworld.com