Keep your fork

There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So, as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order, and the pastor was preparing to leave, when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.

"There's one more thing," she said excitedly.

"What's that?" came the pastor's reply.

"This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand."

The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say.

"That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor.

The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from there on out, I have always done so. I have also always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie; something wonderful, and with substance!"

"So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand, and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then, I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork - the best is yet to come.'"

The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman goodbye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral, people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled.

During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her.

The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right.

So, the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.

Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share .. being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.

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From: greaper49@yahoo.com

i love you in spite of ...

Of course you've heard of Joe D'Mango. He gives advice on love and relationships on Wave 89.1 (Philippines). Have you ever wondered what he does when he has his own love problems? Does he give advice to himself? Does he handle it very well?

Three fridays ago, our guru on relationships, Joe D'Mango, read a letter to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes. For the past 11 years, he had been giving advice to people who would write him letters about their personal problems. To the surprise of his listeners that Friday, instead of reading one of his usual letters, he read one that he had written himself to his wife Bing. Joe felt that he had to tell his listeners that even someone like him could go through a marital crisis, but that he survived it. Here's how his letter goes:

In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a close circle of friends and she never had one either. Life for us was just "you and me," day in and day out. We were literally sleeping beside each other for 11 years. It came to a point that there was nothing more interesting to talk about. I was aware I was doing that but I never did anything about it. We were so close yet it seemed like we were so distant. Then came her new circle of friends.

They recently had an elementary and high school reunion. Remember her persistent suitor since elementary days? He was there. We already had four daughters and the guy had four kids of his own. They exchanged phone numbers. They started to text each other and this bothered me. A big part of it was insecurity and other part was that she once denied that she was texting the guy.

I felt bad because she started hiding things from me. Then the guy asked her if they could meet for lunch. It became a source of tension between us. I finally agreed, but before that, I told her that I felt that I was going through the same pain again. I have seen so many stories like this. If you told me the first part of the story, I would already know where it would lead to.

Bing accused me of being a "know-it-all" person. But deep in my heart, I knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married girl unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally, even if it was against my will, I drove her to the meeting place.

While I was waiting at the radio station, I wanted to call her but knew it wasn't proper. So I just waited for her to tell me how their meeting went.

When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the other details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn't prepared to accept her answers. I told her that it would be best if that was their last meeting. She got mad and told me that I was starting to control her life.

The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the words, "lose you" in the trash can at home. I started picking up the pieces of paper and putting them together. She had written: "Felt sad because I felt that this will be our last meeting." "Wanted to hug you..." Before I could figure out what the third one was, Bing was already at my back. She wanted to get the torn pieces of paper back. She said it was private property. We decided to talk.

By then, I was able to figure out the third line: "Not sure if afraid to lose you." She had crossed it out and beside it, she had written, "Wanted to cry."

That was what hit me. How could you lose something that's not even with you yet? That was a confirmation that she was getting emotionally attached to the guy. We fought because she didn't want to admit it. She said that what she had written was all about friendship and not about love. For the first time in our marriage she asked for freedom from me. For 11 years we were always together, and now this.

She had discovered her own little world and wanted to explore it. I didn't want to give it to her but finally I gave in. I told her that she could do anything she wanted and not worry about how I would feel. In fact, I told her that I was planning to leave her and kids for a while so we could give each other the chance to be alone. We decided to give the new arrangement a try.

The following day, Thursday, I went to work early and she texted me. I never answered back. When I didn't respond, she called me. She said, "I'm sorry. I love you and I miss you." For the first time in our marriage I said, "I love you and I miss you too" with tears in my eyes.

I realized how much I loved her but I also knew how much she wanted her freedom. When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My boss advised me to think it over, but he said that he would allow me to go on leave. After letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the first time in my life that I asked for advice about our relationship.

While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white roses arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on my cellphone came, "I know that no material things can ease the pain that you're feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and sincere intentions. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

Still, a question continued to bug me: "I'm giving you the freedom. Will you choose to stay or go on?" I read the card, and it had the answer to my question: "Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a very big mistake in choosing a new-found friendship at the expense of our long-time friendship. Please forgive me. I wil always love you."

Bing called the guy and told him that she wanted to end the friendship. He said that they could just text or call each other. Bing said that there was no need.

We had dinner and talked up to 1 am. It was like getting married all over again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do not want to go through the same pain again.

Friday came and it was the first time in the history of Love Notes that I couldn't do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at the station at 9 am, I composed a letter to Bing. I was asking myself, should I read this or do a replay? I chose to read the letter. It is not unusual to hear people say "I love you because...," but this story has shown us that the deeper and greater love is having to say "I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF..."

What hurts most?

...when you can't fight for that one thing that would make you happy... ...I may never be the guy you look forward to seeing every day... ...but I will always be the guy who will look out for you each and every day...

Sad Girl: "don't make me feel that I'm just a selfish jerk just because I made you cry"!

Sad Guy: "then don't make me feel like I did nothing for you when I almost died crying just to see you smile..."

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And some ask ourselves: Will our actions echo across the centuries?

Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?

Love isn't when you can't sleep ... it's when you want to keep your eyes open

Love isn't when you keep holding on ... it's when you learn to let go

Love isn't when you kill yourself with jealousy ... it's when you understand

Love isn't' when you fall for someone ... it's when you catch that person when she falls

Love isn't when you see her everywhere ... it's when you close your eyes and she is still there

Love isn't when you tell her what you feel ... it's when you give everything for her sake

And Love isn't when you think you were blind ... it's when you know she was wrong but you didn't mind!

Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation


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From: jl_coronel@yahoo.com

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of
coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf
balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed
that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar
was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if
the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the
empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
important things---God, your family, your children, your health, your
friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand
into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles
or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time
and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things
that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with
grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out
to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the
house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the
things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just
sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Please share this with someone you care about... I JUST DID

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From: roweva@yahoo.com